why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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