You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
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She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
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He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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