3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
