literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize