i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
