I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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