New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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