maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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