Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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