He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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