marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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