My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
