too bad you live with your parents still
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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