Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
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