"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
