I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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