Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Everyone says I win the strip club
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
