...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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