Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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