you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
