If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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