there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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