YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
