white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
