Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
