I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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