that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
