haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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