dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
