So drunk its hurt
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
