I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
