I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize