using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
