and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
