I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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