I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
