i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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