There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
