i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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