the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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