My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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