STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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