wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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