i permit you to call me
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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