i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I need water and some morals
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
