kristin has been a bad kristin
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
