THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
