Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
