Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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