Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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