Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sorry my hands just texted you
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
