Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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