He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
