so that wasnt chicken after all
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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