they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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